It’s New Year’s Day.
There can be so much weight attached to those words. The kind that motivates a person to change and grow and challenge themselves with fresh vision. It can also be the kind that discourages a person from trying any more, because they just cannot measure up to some arbitrary standard. Then there are those in between, who don’t quite know what to do with the New Year.
Newness is frightening sometimes.
It can be like taking The Doctor’s hand and stepping into a TARDIS, scary as heck, but exciting. At least, we hope for more excitement than scary stuff.
As Levi and I face this New Year, we are struggling to find a new identity. For several years, we haven’t really been “together” on things. We’ve loved each other, and lived life together, and maintained a mediocre status quo. We have traveled the road so many couples have traveled. That road where you just kind of keep going out of habit, sticking with the rut, because it works. It’s very hard to explain, without people worrying that we were falling apart. That wasn’t it at all. We were just in a rut. Spinning our wheels. Getting along. Doing everyday life.
We just weren’t really changing. We weren’t growing together. We were just stuck.
About six weeks ago, we had a deep breakthrough. It was like a fortress had been breached. A stronghold trampled to the ground forever.
Then, there we were, looking into each other’s faces through the breach in the wall, and wondering, “What now?”
What exactly do we do with this Great Change? How do we move forward together, after living essentially parallel lives, spiritually and emotionally speaking? What does God plan to do in and through us now?
We feel a bit like newlyweds who have made it past the honeymoon stage, and are in the throws of learning to do life together all over again. We’re not fighting, just trying to navigate new territory, essentially.
We have never been very purposeful in our relationship. Just kind of loving each other, and winging it. This year, we’re actually doing something a little different. Instead of making arbitrary resolutions on New Year’s Day, we are going to take the next few weeks, and actually discuss where we want our family life to go. Which direction are we taking? What changes do we want to make, personally and as a couple? It feels a little awkward, because it’s so New, but it’s something we’ve never tried, and we want to give it a shot.
It feels a bit risky and scary, but we can’t help but go forward together. We’re like The Doctor and Rose — they don’t always know where or when they’re headed, but they go together.
And that makes all the difference.
Yes. I have started watching Doctor Who. (Only the new series right now, but I’ll likely go back and watch the Really Old ones, too. Because.) What are you doing to welcome the New Year?
Grace & Peace,