Another Thursday has come, and I must do my duty, and be thankful. Turns out there’s always a lot to be thankful for, whether I can see it or not, so my prayer is that I see it. That the scales fall from my eyes, and I stop focusing so much on my ridiculous self, and see Good Things around me.
This week, I am primarily thankful that a friend of mine did not succeed in her suicide attempt. A friend I have come to love dearly, and who has one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. I feel privileged to be in her circle of influence, and a little bit awed that she’d connect with me at all.
She is probably the most real person I know, and it is partly because of her that I have become increasingly more real over the past few years. That I have begun to allow my masks to fall away. I still pick them up and wear them sometimes, but I hope to someday kill them with fire.
I want to live bare-souled to all the world, like she seems to. I’m tired of living inside myself. I don’t like it there. So, I am thankful for her influence on me in that direction.
I am thankful that I get to walk with her in any small way. Miniscule, really. She is so surrounded by love, loyalty, and grace in her inner circle, that I know she doesn’t need me. Yet, she has somehow included me anyway. I feel privileged, and a little disbelieving that we have connected.
I hope that one day, I can encourage her better, and that our friendship grows. I am selfish that way. I am thankful that she is still living and breathing and moving earthside, because I want to be part of her world. Because it’s beautiful in ways I didn’t know existed.
She has become very dear to me. Her influence is wider than I think she knows. And I’m so glad I’m under that influence. God is not finished with her yet, though I know she wants him to be.
Thank God she’s still here.
You can read her story at God is Bigger Than Your Shit.
Grace & Peace,