One thing that marriage has taught me more vividly than anything else is that it is far too easy to focus on what I think I need instead of on what I already have. To focus on the negative, rather than the positive. To wish my husband would be “more this, less that, and just do what I tell him to!”
Sigh…me and my flesh need to have a sit-down. Hmph.
As I’ve been at the CAPPA conference this weekend, to continue my education as a labor doula and childbirth educator, I’ve missed my husband. I’ve found myself with some time to think, and I’m wondering if I’m really the wife he deserves.
I know he loves me. He has never given me reason to doubt. Yet, there are times I know that I do doubt – through no fault of his at all.
It’s all in my perception. And my flesh-guided tendency to focus on the fact that my husband isn’t perfect instead of focusing on how much of a gift from God he is to me.
There aren’t a lot of flowers, gifts, or romance in the traditional sense in our house.
But – I have something better, deeper, and richer than romance in my husband.
I have his unwavering loyalty to me.
I have his faithfulness.
I have his ear whenever I need it, and I have his desire to man up and rescue me from any “bad guys.”
I have his protectiveness.
I have his devotion and admiration.
I have his respect.
I have his affection. All of it.
I have insight into his heart and mind.
I have his conversation.
I am his first choice in everything.
I have his support in my birth work.
He is my advocate, my strength, my balance, and my safe place to land. There is no one he would rather spend time with in this life than me. He loves coming home to me – even if I’m asleep when he gets there. He loves holding me. He loves being my husband.
For some reason, he thinks I’m amazing.
I cannot help but fully believe I chose wisely when I married him.
I have never met a man I can respect as much as Levi. With the exception of my own father, of course. I always did want to marry a man of integrity, faith, and intention like my Dad.
Levi is the same man at home that he is at church, at work, and when we’re with friends. He doesn’t change to please anyone. He is who he is, and is truly the only person I’ve ever met who is fully himself everywhere he goes. He hides nothing, and never pretends. He values honesty, integrity, good work, and family. He values his wife and children.
I am so glad to have him. And I can’t wait to get home tomorrow and prove it to him!
Grace & Peace,