Well, I started a post several times yesterday, intending to post our Thanksgiving pictures, and tell the story of our week with my parents and nephew. I couldn’t do it. I spent the day feeling sad and struggling with some pretty powerful emotions. I’m not quite sure where they came from, but I know they were related to the topic I wrote about on Monday.
I spent the majority of the day reading, doing some light housework, and throwing prayers heaven-ward, laying down several crosses. I think there may be one or two left I need to lay down still, judging by the heavy, fatigued feeling I woke up with that seems unrelated to anything physical.
It wasn’t a “bad” day, per se. It just wasn’t particularly “good,” either.
It was a struggle.
I also started reading up on a topic that I’ve never felt I fully understood, but have just believed what I have been taught about it. I have never known where to look for information that wasn’t heavily biased in one direction or another, and have never really bothered trying, because it’s not going to change my status before God in any way. Needless to say, I have found what I’m looking for, and questions that have always niggled at the back of my mind are beginning to be answered.
All I’m doing now is reading, reading, reading; drinking in information like a thirsty man handed a glass of iced sweet tea! (Hey, I like tea better than water, and it’s my analogy. So there.) I had no idea this stuff was out there! I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally find information that actually makes sense to me, and fills in a lot of gaps that I just couldn’t reconcile with what I have been taught.
I’d also rather not recount what I’m learning just yet, as I haven’t reached a definite conclusion as to exactly where I fall on the spectrum yet. Once I do, I’ll let you know.
So, my day yesterday was an interesting one, and kind of passed in a blur. Today will be our first day back at school since Thanksgiving. We’ll have to do double lessons this week, to make up for the week before Thanksgiving, but I’m looking forward to this afternoon with my kids. They need their Mommy’s undivided attention for awhile. And I need their sweet, child-like companionship.
My precious kids. Words can’t describe the fierce love I have for them. They’re the sole means of keeping me from becoming utterly selfish. I know God gave me four because I need extra help in that department. Especially at this juncture of my life.
If you want to see the topics listed in the 30 MORE Posts thingie, click here. It’s supposed to be 30 Posts in 30 Days, but I’m doing one topic a week right now, or I use one when I have writer’s block.
Of interest this week, I wanted to quickly share a link that expresses better the reason I write so much: The Way to Feed a Hungry Heart: Letters about Serving with Words. Thanks to Megan at Latte Lover Devotions and Devotions for the Deployed Heart for sharing this on facebook.
How was your day? Today or yesterday? What do you hope for tomorrow, or this week?