Day 19: Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda…

I would have to say that I don’t have any inconsolable regrets in my life, though there are plenty of decisions I would go back and change, if I could. Decisions that, I don’t think, would have fundamentally altered the person I have become.

One big regret I have is the way I treated my sisters growing up, keeping them at arm’s length. We didn’t have horrible fights, or hate each other, but I wish that I had made them my closest confidants and best friends growing up. I am scrambling to make up for lost time there, and it seems to be working. My sisters and I are getting closer and closer now. I attribute this mostly to simple maturity.

Despite being sisters, Trina and Jen were practically strangers to me for most of our lives. We have the important things in common; our sense of humor, our parentage, our sense of loyalty, and our faith. We may have been mean to each other too often, but we sure as heck wouldn’t let anyone else pick on one of us. Still, until the last few years, I don’t think I really knew my sisters the way I should have.

A few years into my marriage, I looked back and realized how self-centered I had been during my final years at home. If I had known better, I would have simply been there more for them. There was a stretch of time where Trina and I simply did not get along in any form, and I basically ignored Jen.

I began to realize just how much I had missed out on while I was home. I saw women around me who had deep, meaningful, special relationships with their sisters that I simply did not understand. And I marveled.

Things are so much better now, and are improving with every conversation. I feel like I could talk to either of them about anything, and they would love me enough to do what was most needed at the time. They can smack me upside the head with the truth; put their arms around me and let me cry; laugh uproariously at my wit. *wink wink*

One good thing I can say about each of us, is that we have always accepted each other at face value. We may not have always liked each other much, but we never tried to change each other.

Time is too precious to waste on regrets, though. While I look back with some regret, I am not ashamed. My sisters and I are all in good standing with each other. The past is the past. We have the rest of our lives to live with no more regrets, as far as we are concerned.

What about you? Do you have anything you regret? What have you done to make it right?


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