I’m Supposed to Be Here

I was cleaning house tonight, and listening to my “Housework Mix” as loud as I could and still hear (and therefore, referee) my kids, when this song came on. The lyrics of the chorus struck me, and I had to sit and listen. Turns out there was a reason it caught my ear.

I needed to hear it.

I’m supposed to be here. Here in this place, along with my family, where divorce and cancer are doing their level best to shred all of us into pieces too small to find. Here in this place where grief and joy have to share the same hearts. Here in this place where strength is made perfect in weakness. Here in this place where we each have to choose – just for today – if we will walk a little closer to Jesus, or turn a little farther away.

I am encouraged, and reminded that I’m supposed to be right where I am.

Four states away from my mom and dad, who are fighting melanoma. Four states away from a sister and nephew who are tentatively allowing a new man into their lives whom I can’t really get to know. Sharing a house with a sister whose heart has been broken and put back together more times than I care to count. Loving a man and our children by making a home, and all the daily grind that goes with that.

It’s a burden that is sometimes always too heavy for me. However…

I’M SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

Just like my dear pastor likes to say:

There are three things we can be sure of.

  • 1) God loves us. We don’t know why, but He does. There is nothing more true.
  • 2) He is in control. He is sovereign Lord of His created universe.
  • 3) The logical conclusion we can come to, if the previous two things are true, is that everything will work out just fine in the long run, if we’ll keep our eyes on Christ instead of our circumstances.
  • To my parents and my sisters, with so much love, that I ache, and I pray.

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