Faerylandmom (hereafter referred to as “Mom”) – by the Authority vested in her from On High as a Mother, hereby declares a Cease & Desist Order against Potty-Training under her roof, and will also hereby resume the use of Cloth Diapers on the Nether-Regions of Her Third Offspring (Hereafter referred to as “Monkey”), thus containing Unsightly Contaminants within the bounds of said Diapers, thereby preventing said Contaminants from desecrating Mom’s Newly-Mopped Floor, Monkey’s Closet, and Various & Sundry Articles of Clothing Which Mom Is Tired of Washing.
Aforementioned Diapers will not be allowed Retirement from Duty until such time as Monkey is able to prove Full and Complete Readiness and Competence for the Potty, which has been displayed in the Past, but has not manifested itself continuously for many months. Mom and Dad will hereby be the Sole Determiners of said Readiness, and will not be moved by Tears, Begging, or Big Brown Eyes.
It is declared.
MOM HAS SPOKEN.